its been at least 7 years since ive wrotehow i truly feel in detail online but when theres no one there theres no where else to turn and you just want to get it all out?
when some one avoids you how do you act when your scared and upset? Do you confront them? thats what i did and now everythings at rock bottom. Know im despised by someone who once said they could love me true i did get off with someone else but not until i had endured 4 days of the words i hate you and i dont care anymore. Everything i did was never good enough and everytime i got close i just got pushed away and reminded i wasnt good enough and made to feel like i was nothing and i hurt as much as anything before and know ive managed to ruin the best thing about uni. The second day of uni i climbed in through a window and i chose number 004 toknock on on purpose because i knew it was hers and i cant lose her because i think of her everytime i wake up and when my arms are empty i just wish she was there and it makes me want to cry that she hates me and that i will never see her smile again because of something ive done and ill never feel her soft skin pressing against mine and ill never taste her lips again.
I fuck evrything up.